Frustrations

So, when writing a musical, just like with any artistic development, there's a definite level of frustration that comes about sometime. I think it's particularly bad with a musical, if for nothing else than the sheer scope of the work. I think I also have more frustration because I truly understand quality when it comes to musical writing (at least I like to believe I do) and I don't always measure up to the quality I'm striving for.

Then, of course, I'm conflicted at the idea that I might be second-guessing myself into either changing something that was better originally, or just changing something that didn't need to be changed because the replacement is not better or worse--just different.

I struggle with some songs more than other in this regard...perhaps when I'm not 100% sure of the flavor I'm going for. I mean, a love song's a love song. Pretty easy to feel if it sounds like a love song (though not always). Even easier would be something like a fanfare. A fanfare either sounds like a fanfare or it doesn't.

But what about something like my opening. It's a comic book convention. There will be a bunch of people walking around in costumes checking out booths and singing about the 'Glory and Gore' of it all. So where do I go with this flavor? I mean, I could go hundreds of different ways. So what I usually do is I just start writing -- with no planning for style or thought as to flavor. Sometimes this works out great. Sometimes it doesn't. But sometimes, as in the current version of Glory and Gore, I'm just not sure. I ended up with something that sounds a bit Egyptian, and I just don't know if it has a flavor that works for the setting.

Adding to that problem, I really like what I've written...if I didn't it would be easy to cut. However, I like it, but am not sure it's right for the scene, and worried that my thinking it might not be right for the scene is second guessing myself.

Then, of course, because I worry that all the work I've done is perhaps going to go to waste if I decide to cut it, I get frustrated because of the potential wasted work and that makes me not want to work on it anymore...so instead of spending more time trying to tweak it and make it just right, I move on to a different piece or else just quit writing altogether.

This happens more often than I'd like it to.

I think being able to be self critical and cut things that don't work or tweak them until they're just perfect is very important. One cannot be blind to bad writing, poor setting, lame lyrics, etc... I have to be judgemental of my work and remove any artistic naivety. But I've seen artist kill their work by betraying their original vision due to this judgemental second guessing until all the glory and wonder that made the original idea beautiful has been sucked from it by marketing numbers and cooperate beauracracy...er...okay...I went a bit off there. But you get my point.

I still haven't come to a solid approach to dealing with this balance between trusting my artistic vision and being self critical.